Been speaking to some friends of ours that have just had their first child, a beautiful baby girl called Abigal (Gratz again Maddy and Chris ^^). They are in the stage of parenthood I named "AAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHH". The first few weeks when the enormity of taking care of a child starts to really hit home.
There is so much that they (the midwifes and health visitors) don't tell you or prepare you for. The sleep deprivation, the feelings of uselessness when you can't decipher what the last hour of crying was for and you have tried everything and just how much your life has to change.
There is also the pressure. Lisa had issues with Kaylee when breast feeding, she just wouldn't latch on. The first night she had to be bottle fed due to her blood sugar being low. The midwife in charge was very forceful and made Lisa feel like a failure because Kaylee wasn't feeding from her. It took me quite a while to get that idea out of her head. It really doesn't help when you have all the pro breast feeding propaganda plastered everywhere. Sometimes it just doesn't happen, and a lot of people need to realise this. We would have loved for Kaylee to be breast fed. Hell, we were planning on a natural birth but that didn't happen either. We realised that making sure Kaylee was eating and healthy is far more important than what we planned on. My advice to other parents is do what is best for you and your baby and don't worry about these people looking down at you.
I don't think any parent knows how much of a lifestyle change is coming. When Lisa fell pregnant we had these ideas that we would still be going to the cinema every couple of weeks, I would still be instancing and maybe raiding a bit in Warcraft and Lisa would have plenty of time for all the projects she has planned.
How wrong we were.
I'm only now starting to get back to a reasonable amount of gaming, Lisa's focusing on her business but still not managing to do a lot of the stuff she wants to. We are lucky in the fact my Mum will take Kaylee one night a week so we can still go watch our local ice hockey team (C'mon Flyers!) but are lucky if we have been to the cinema 5 times this year. To be fair, this was just a mistake on our part but it shows how you don't realise what's coming.
Then there is the sleep deprivation I have mentioned a few times. Even now, with Kaylee almost eighteen months old, sleep is a luxury. Kaylee still isn't sleeping through the night all the time and can go several days at a time where she will be up for anywhere between half an hour and four to five hours. Several times I have woke up lying on the couch with Kaylee, in agony from being in some weird contorted position that she decided was comfy enough for her to fall asleep, then still having to get up and go to work.
This leads onto stress. Now don't get me wrong, Lisa and me have always had minor disagreements. Since Kaylee was born, we have had a lot more. This is just totally down to lack of sleep, which makes us both grumpy. This combined with stubborn personalities on both sides meaning neither of us will back down has led to some "fun" discussions.
Thing is, even with all this, I wouldn't change Kaylee. The good really does outweigh the bad. The smile I get everyday when I come in from work or the pride I feel everytime she works out something new. Even the feeling when I first saw and held her in the hospital. These are feelings that really can't be put into words properly. Don't worry if you don't get everything right straight away. You are learning just as much as your child is.
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